20th Century Fox to Adapt All Future Screenplays into Superhero Movies

LOS ANGELES—CEO of 20th Century Fox, Stephen Blairson, held a press conference yesterday to announce that due to the recent box office success of films like  "The Avengers" and "The Amazing Spiderman", all their studios upcoming film projects will be converted into part of a Superhero franchise.

“It just makes sense, it doesn't matter how exciting or deep your characters and plot are, people really just want secret identities" Blairson explained "I’m sure if Disney had made John Carter secretly be Batman, that movie would have been a hit.”

After informing us that his studio was currently in production on that very idea and that we couldn’t steal it, Blairson described how they were immediately changing all their current films in order to feature superheroes. 

According to Blairson, all of Fox’s current screenplays are currently being edited in order to accommodate the company’s new policy. Scripts ranging from romantic comedies to physiological thrillers are all in the process of being repackaged to include more capes, utility belts and ass-kicking.

Sweeping changes are currently coming across the board to already green-lit scripts, including the work of some high profile Hollywood names.

Quentin Tarantino is seeing his latest movie changed to revolve around a profanity crazed Green Lantern. Wes Anderson's new film will take a nostalgic look at the formative years of Superman (played by Owen Wilson) and his large dysfunctional family which includes a somewhat abusive Jor-El. Even comedy legend Judd Apatow’s latest project is being transformed into a Batman and Robin vehicle, featuring the crime fighting pair as socially awkward teenagers.

As time goes on, Blairson hopes that his studio will never have to worry about a movie bombing again and is excited to see how many more times people will pay to watch the Spiderman origin story.

Despite being embraced by many movie goers, Fox has come under attack from many people in the film industry who believe the new policy will cause a decline in quality movie releases. Mr. Blairson has shown no signs of worry though as he expects to see his studio to dominate all future MTV Movie Awards, which he considers to be the highest honor in filmmaking.