Released by Seahawks, T.O. Joins Seattle Sea Gals

SEATTLE—Former all-star receiver Terrell Owens’ was released by the Seattle Seahawks this Sunday but thanks to an unexpected offer, T.O. will be staying in the city as a member of the Sea Gals cheer squad.

Although Owens failed to impress Seahawks management over the course of 3 weeks with his football ability- his enthusiasm and personality did catch the eye of the team’s head cheerleader. 

“We just thought he was amazing” explained Stephanie Q., the Sea Gals lead dancer “he was so spry and athletic, with great rhythm- sure he couldn’t catch the ball, but his celebratory dance routines we’re still top-notch.”

With his lack of on-field skill combined with a baffling insistence on dance celebrations after incomplete passes in practice, Seahawk coaches we’re not eager to add him to their lineup but were still looking to add his dynamic presence and leadership to the team.

In a meeting held by GM John Schneider with the teams most important executives, Stephanie Q. suggested the possibility that T.O. might make a good fit in their cheer lineup and although it was quite unorthodox, Schneider agreed that it would be the best fit for the aging superstar.

“It really seemed like the best role for him” said Schneider of Owens, “I’ve always heard he was a good football player but all I really know are his celebrations which is the only thing anyone actually wants from him.”

Schneider approached Owens on the day of his release and to his surprise T.O. was extremely receptive to the idea. Before long T.O. sent a follow up tweet to the one announcing he was not long a Seahawk with a message to the world declaring his new position as a Sea Gal.

“I think I’ve finally found my true calling” T.O. declared to Seattle media on Monday afternoon, “I don’t know why I’ve been messing around with this football nonsense for so long, all I ever really wanted to do was celebrate, having to catch the football first always just got in the way of that.”

Although some Seattle fans are skeptical about having T.O. as a cheerleader, according to his fellow cheerleaders he will be more than capable of pulling off their complex dance routines, which is, of course, everyone’s main concern in watching cheerleaders.  

Seahawks management is very excited not only by their new cheer addition but also to have secured a big name for their team without having to have them actually play football and are reportedly trying to pull off a similar deal to sign Chad “Ocho Cinco” Johnson as their new head-butting bird mascot.