HOLLYWOOD—Coming out swinging in her divorce negotiations with Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes has insisted that her number one priority is that she be given joint custody of the couple’s celebrity status.
“We don’t want Katie to just fade into obscurity like so many other ex-celebrity wives” explained Holmes’ Lawyer on behalf of his client, “we need a guarantee that she gets at least 50% of his tabloid time- she shouldn't just be spending time with the paparazzi on weekends, we need them to remain as significant to her life as they are to Tom’s.”
According to Holmes’ legal team, Katie is looking to guarantee that she not only takes half of Tom’s money but also steal half of his spotlight.
“All the reporters, camera operators, gawkers- they’re like family to me and I don’t want to lose contact with them just because Tom is the ‘fun one’” Katie told some members of her extended “family” this weekend, “I might not always have been the best celebrity in the past but I will always be there for people who want to photograph me as go through my daily errands.”
As for other terms of the divorce, Katie is less interested.
“I think people need to remember that this is a celebrity marriage, not a real one, our priority first and foremost should be on the celebrity aspect of the separation” said Holmes publicist, “if they we’re a regular couple then yes there would be other issues, but in Hollywood there are more important things than something as trivial as say, a child.”
When asked how she felt about having primary custody over the couple’s daughter, Suri, Holmes was very curt making her intentions all too clear.
“As long as she stays close to me, I’m fine with having to take care of her” Holmes insisted, “but if she thinks for a minute that she can be independent and get harassed by weirdos and creeps with cameras without me, she’s got another thing coming.”